


Mission: Bucky Barnes

by neverfaltering



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort, Sick Bucky Barnes, bucky just wants to get out, bucky's being experimented on, bucky's hurt, bucky's sad and hopeless, i think that's enough, it's just really sad to me, lots of emotions, lots of pain, tw needles - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 13:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4607685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverfaltering/pseuds/neverfaltering
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What they did to Bucky Barnes at Hydra</p><p>(i.e, Bucky being tortured. He longs to see the sky one day.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mission: Bucky Barnes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gracessence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracessence/gifts).



> hello, hello.
> 
>  
> 
> basically:
> 
> poor bucky.
> 
> this is for @gracessence because she got me into marvel. basically she was like "HERE WATCH CAPTAIN AMERICA IT'S A GREAT FILM!!" and i was like "cool okay ive never done superheroes let's go find an illegal link" and then i watched it and (maybe) cried a lil and live chatted with her on tumblr messaging. most of the messages were just me yelling in caps lock about peggy carter ("why would they kill off her character like that!!") while she was probably maniacally grinning at her screen. i don't know. she sent me back, "wow get ready for lots of pain :)"
> 
> also for some reason i thought that the avengers movie was actually the third captain america film (don't ask okay) so i thought "yay!! i still have one movie left and i can finish this night while being relieved that bucky is safe and great"  
> and then i found out it was like coming out in 2016, so.
> 
> with that being said, please do correct me on stuff I get wrong on the original story. (because i didn't get to the comics yet)
> 
> ahem.
> 
> enjoy poor bucky being experimented on by HYDRA'S people.

Bucky knows that scent.  
He knows it like he knows blueberry pie, he knows it all the way in the back of the head, he knows it in his sleep.  
It’s the smell of anesthetic, of a hospital, of a torture lab, of a place Bucky’s been residing for who knows how long. He certainly doesn’t.  
And they’re coming for him.  
Again.  
He tries to calm himself down, but he knows the effort is futile. As long as they touch when he doesn’t want to be touched and fill him with substances when he can’t bear any more, he will never, ever get used to it.  
He will never get used to being an experiment.  
\--  
Two Hydra scientists come over to where he lies, syringes in hand. They’re going to pump him up, he’s going to fall asleep, they’re going to whatever they do, Bucky’s going to wake up feeling nauseous, Bucky’s going to throw up, they’re going to leave him alone for a couple hours, they’re going to come back and repeat it.  
He knows what’s going to happen, he knows the whole process. Yet every time, his heart rate increases and he feels dizzy and nervous and everything he shouldn’t feel after doing this dozens and dozens of times.

He glances at his heart rate zigzagging on the monitor. One of the scientists looks at it, unfazed. He wonders if they ever feel pity; even a hint of it would do. But they look at it once and return to their task. He knew they would. He doesn’t know why he thought this time could have been different. His heart deflates, just a bit.  
They bring over the syringe which is filled with a different colored liquid every time. Today, it is a midnight blue. It reminds him of the sky. He wonders how long it’s been since he was stuck in here, with a white, too-clean ceiling as his sky. 

They push him on to the bed, where his head jerks back on to the metal. It’s going to bruise. Bucky’s learned that bruises don’t really go away. They’re there for a horrendously long time, just there, reminding him of his previous torture. They change colors, from red to purple to faded peach, but they will always stick out and never completely blend in.  
They begin to strap him to the bed, roped restraints making their way around his limbs.

Something hot surges inside of him. He thinks of a home, he thinks of a sky. He will not die here with a white wall as his sky. He will see the stars, he will see all the hues of blue. He will look for constellations, he will give up trying to find them. But he will try. 

He jerks against the restraints, which are almost firmly bound to his hands. The scientists look to him in surprise, but make no comment. (Which isn’t much of a shock; he can count the number of conversations he’s had here on one hand. In fact, he actually wishes they would engage with him, whether it be just to tell him what torture they’re preparing next. He just sort of misses human interaction.)

He can feel the rope digging into his skin, but he pushes himself harder, his hair flying into his face and his legs suddenly feeling sluggish. He couldn’t have gotten up if he tried, he’s been immobile much too long to make sudden movements. The two men look at him for a bit, not making any move to stop him. They stare at him with a slight smirk, as if encouraging him to go on and try because they all know he’s going absolutely nowhere.

He falls back to his previous position, his endeavors taking out all of his energy. The scientists return to their task, this time with a firmer hand, Bucky notices. Their hands are rough and unyielding and cold and emotionless and. They are the hands of murderers. 

Bucky used to flinch away from them, but now he is accustomed to their feel. Is he becoming one of them? 

They jolt his head back. One of them headlocks him, while the other places the guard inside his mouth, Bucky’s least favorite. The guard is a metal device designed so his tongue can’t make any movement, and therefore no eligible sounds. It always feels awkward and huge in his mouth, even though this is a constant doing in the routine.  
Once the metal’s placed in, the man’s hands still placed over his forehead and chin, holding him in place, the other one ties his hair back. He pulls his hair all too tightly, making him wince in pain. It feels too tight and he fights the urge to pull the tie off, but they’ve got him successfully strapped now and he cannot do anything anymore. He is completely and utterly their prisoner.

The syringe comes into view again, and his eyes flick to the monitor, where his heart rate ceases to form a normal wavelength. He lets out a silent exhale, closing his eyes. Darkness encloses him, and he finds doing this decreases the delirious anesthetic nightmares, the scientists not a lingering sight until he blacks out.  
He feels a sharp pinch near his shoulder. He tries to stay awake, just like he does every time, but it’s too strong, he’s too weak. He eventually gives out, passing out for what always feels like a very long time.  
\--

Bucky always, always wakes up feeling like he got run over a truck. He doesn’t know what that would feel like, but he has a strong hunch that this is it. It takes him a couple minutes to register things around him, but they don’t come all at once. His sense of hearing is usually first, followed by smell. Which leads to his fingers scrambling around for something but finding nothing, which is what gets his eyes to open.  
It’s the same, really. Today is no different. 

Bucky wonders if it ever will be.

**Author's Note:**

> he'll get out one day.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> p.s. i love feedback more than you'd ever know.  
> thank you,  
> goodbye


End file.
